My husband and I have been practicing NFP (Natural Family Planning) for two+ years now. And I am no expert when it comes to NFP, to be perfectly honest. I am a terrible charter. As soon as I know with certainty that I entered Phase 3 (the infertile end of your cycle following ovulation and prior to the start of a new cycle with menstruation), I stop charting all together. I don't bother to take my waking temperature every day. I stop checking my cervix and paying attention to my other bodily signs of (in)fertility, and just start the charting back up once I've started a new cycle.
Anyway, if you are unfamiliar with NFP, in a nutshell, it entails abstaining from sex while the woman is fertile (roughly 96 hours a month). Since our daughter was born, Husband and I have primarily been practicing NFP to space (avoid) pregnancies. Of course, one of the basic tenets of NFP is to be open to life, even while hoping to avoid a pregnancy. And this is where many--including my Protestant Husband--get lost when it comes to NFP versus contraception. They say, "But you can be open to life while using Birth Control. You know Birth Control isn't 100%, so if you get pregnant while using it, you can still welcome that new life!" Well, yes. I suppose that is true. But the other tenet of NFP is to be open to love. And this entails giving oneself completely to one's beloved. That means not holding any part of yourself--physically, mentally, emotionally--back; including your fertility. To which the Proties and Pagans and Secularists and Nay-Sayers say, "But if you abstain from sex while you are fertile, then you are holding back your fertility and thus not giving yourself completely. HYPOCRITE!" Well, maybe. Like I said, I am no expert on NFP. I got a B- (my lowest grade in my entire undergraduate career) in Christian Marriage at a fascist Catholic school. I am not well versed in the Theology of the Body and the metaphysics of agape. Yes, I suppose it can be said that in practicing NFP, my Husband and I are merely taking advantage of a natural loophole. Or it could be said that when we engage in physical intimacy while I am not fertile, we are still giving ourselves completely, meaning there are no barriers between us; there is still a small chance that our act of love--though engaged during my infertile time--may result in a pregnancy. And when I am fertile, we do not engage in physical intimacy. We abstain. Through charity, we find other, non-physical ways to express our love.
However, last month, my Husband and I made the conscious decision to be intimate while I was fertile. We wanted our physical expression of love to result in a physical manifestation of love. We wanted to be Co-Creators with God. We wanted to make a baby.
With both of us fully aware of my fertility and the high likelyhood of our act creating a life (he's Irish and I'm Latina; pretty good chances, no?), we made love. And it was AH-MAZE-ING. I never realized what a significant impact one's state of mind could have on a physical act. Finally, I knew what Dr. Asci (my Christian Marriage professor) meant by the profundity of the marital act when perfectly engaged. And my Husband and I were certain that we had just become pregnant.
But after two and a half weeks, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. I started my period two days later (more advanced NFP-ers wouldn't have needed to take a pregnancy test; they would have known from their bodily signs whether or not they were pregnant).
Which brings me to the main point of this post. GOD has a role in bringing about life. All of the physical attributes necessary to bring about life were there. Everything was perfectly aligned. I was fertile. Husband is always fertile. We're told time and time again that unless women are on birth control they will be doomed to have 58189237278346574 kids. There were no barriers between us. And we even willed it to be. But God obviously did not. God, in his omniciousness, did not deem it necessary or appropriate to bless my Husband and I with a child at this time. This time around, my Husband and I were not called to be Co-Creators of life with God.
Maybe next time.
